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  • Jill Helmer

When You Can Feel "It"

Updated: Jun 27, 2020

I had a very sweet moment this morning. When I say sweet, I am not talking about the “tug at your heart strings” kind…I am talking about the rewarding and satisfying kind. The kind of moment that you have been waiting for, working towards, and reaching for…the sweet moment when you can feel “it” in your grasp. The sweet moment when you reach out to grab “it” and you take hold…that moment. That moment when you realize that what you have been working for and building has been worth it.


I wish I could tell you what it is. I wish I could share every vivid detail of it with you, because I know so many of you would smile. It would make you feel good. But I can’t do that…it wouldn't be professional. And that acknowledgement leaves me in the same place that many of you find yourselves.


You find yourself working hard every day in the hope of reaching a goal that is far out ahead of you. You chip away at it. Some days you feel like we are making progress. Many days, you do not. Little do you know that you are making progress every. single. day. Even when you have a set back that you believe puts you back to the starting point, you are so much further ahead than you give yourself credit for…why is it that you don’t see that for yourself?


In my experience, I am my toughest critic and you are yours. When we only assess our progress with our toughest critic, it should not be surprising to us that the feedback comes back harsh and unbalanced. There is no one building us up and saying…”shake it off, get back up and look at how far you have come.” There is only the voice inside of us saying…”we were making such great progress and then you screwed up. Now we are back at the starting line.”


In my coaching work, I find myself as that positive voice to many of my clients. As they work to change behaviors, it is my job to remind them of the progress they are making every. single. day. It is my pleasure to silence their inner critic and say…””shake it off, get back up and look at how far you have come.”


When we begin our work together, the two voices get equal playing time. Eventually, those clients who are successful, begin to listen to the positive messages more frequently than their inner critic. The most successful of my clients learn to speak the positive messages to themselves. They learn to give their own inner critic less “air time” and the positive voice more “air time.” The result? Those sweet moments like I had this morning.


I am in the process of wrapping up a few coaching engagements. It is always a bittersweet time for me as I assess the progress that many of my clients have made in our time together. I have watched them wait for, work towards and reach for…that sweet moment when they can feel “it” in their grasp. To be at someone’s side when this happens is nothing less than a privilege. To show them how to do this for themselves is my life’s work.

Today, I am feeling very grateful for the opportunity to feel “it” in my grasp.



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